Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Thirsty Turtle

I apologize in advance to Professor Lindemann because this blog entry will somewhat revolve around the general theme of drinking, but I have to do it.

The Thirsty Turtle was the textbook definition of a fad, as it briefly swept through College Park from the winter of 2007 to the winter of 2011 luring underage students into its double glass doors.  Turtle was always the bar with a line wrapped around Potbelly’s, but rarely was “filled to maximum capacity.”  At least that’s what they said.  Try walking into the upstairs of Turtle and staying for over 15 minutes when the bar was jam-packed with sweaty college students.  It was a tough feat.
Thirsty Turtle In the Day Light
Image from here.
Anyhow, the funny thing about Turtle was how its reputation evolved.  When it opened during the winter months of my freshman year, word on the street was it was the bar that would not accept any fake IDs.  We all know that that didn’t last for very long.  In fact, the bar’s reputation immediately did a complete 180 and instantly became known as the bar where you only needed a cut out ID with your first grade picture glued onto the front.  Often times the bouncer would laugh, criticize your ID, hand it back to you and let you in the doors; all of this with a police officer standing immediately next to him.  It was truly amazing that the bar lasted as long as it did. 
A Completely Valid ID to Show the TT Bouncers
Image from here.
Some Things One Would Encounter at TT on a Typical Night:
  • Techno jams...especially on Techno Tuesdays
  • Upstairs filled to the brim with sweaty students
  • A person acting like Bill Gates with a $10 bill at the bar [especially on 50 cent rail nights] 
  • People making out left and right 
  • Kids grinding on each other, groping each other and getting to "know" each other...on a "very" personal level...
  • Drinks at an unbelievably low price.  Key word being unbelievable because the drinks you were ordering were not the drinks you were getting.  For instance, you order a shot of "$2 Grey Goose" you're really getting a shot of 10 cent Ruble.  
  • Watch the owner of Turtle drop a college kid causing a scene
  • Girls fighting to get on the stage to grind with each other
  • A pretty legit bathroom experience because if I have to award Turtle for something it would be having the most bathrooms of any of the other CP bars.  So for a quick bathroom experience that did not resemble the Middle Eastern conflict like its competing bar, the Mark, Turtle I commend you.
Unfortunately, Turtle met its demise on one very sad, sad night.  After years of being the epicenter of CP life, especially for the underagers, the bar was brought down after four students were stabbed.  The bar was officially pronounced dead on November 3, 2011, but the memories from TT [or lack there of] will never be forgotten.

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