Thursday, March 31, 2011

Onto the Middle School Fads: The GOTH. [watch out for the chains]

The Goth.  The most blatant oxymoron of a fad.  The sheer irony of these kids always will amaze me.  Think about it.  The Goth kids are the anti-society, colored-haired rebels who don't give a shit and have an attitude that screams, "screw-the-world!"  Right? Riiiiight.  This is what they think.  

Well, Goth kids listen to my perspective on things.  You wake up at least an hour earlier than everyone else in the morning just to show how much you hate the world.  You buy pants with chains on them, which has to take an extra few minutes to:

1. Assemble in the morning and 
2. Walk down the hallway

     I mean come on those pants are a walking disaster.  Take a wrong turn and your shoe winds up in the awkward criss-cross straps that are your pants (link or pic).  You take at least fifteen minutes every morning drawing on layers of black eye-liner and caking on that black eye shadow. I mean dayummm those Goth kids in my middle school wore more make-up on a day-to-day basis than Krusy the Clown does. (the goth makeup... OR a much better look...)

My personal favorite part of the Goth fad was the other classifications that branched off, but were “completely different” from gothic.  Though the Goth kids are still around today, most of the Goth kids at my middle school went through a full-scale evolutionary cycle that started with Goth and has transformed into hipster. Apparently when being Goth loses its appeal there are many other options to choose from including: punk, scene, emo and hipster.  Let me help breakdown the differences:
Evolution of the pants of the goth to the hipster… 

Another one of my favorite memories of the Goth kids was their transition from middle school to high school.  A significant portion of the Goth middle schoolers gave up their chained pants, colored hair, black eyeliner and combat boots as they entered high school.  I guess they, too, realized that it was just becoming a hassle to wake up so early to hate the world as they decided to shift from anti-conformists to average teenage students.  The shift was shocking, however, for those of us who spent the last three years knowing a student as a Goth, equipped in their Goth attire.  It was kind of like a, “Holy $hi%! You have blonde hair??!!” type of revelation.  Now if I was surprised to see this immense transformation I can only imagine the parents of these kids.  I mean it had to be a giant sigh of relief when your daughter goes from wearing this to school to this.  

For some reason or another being Goth peaks throughout ones middle school years.  Perhaps it’s the awkward transition into puberty that drives kids to adopt this lifestyle.  Perhaps it’s a blatant opposition to one’s parents throughout these tough years.  Whatever the reason may be, I have one suggestion for all the future Goths of the world:

Drop the act by high school.  If you are still dressing up in all black to put your middle finger up at society in high school, you need to check yourself.  It was funny and entertaining for three years, but by high school join a club or organization that professes these ideals you hold cuz let me be quite frank, unless you are a member of Kiss, people will not consider your ideals [whether or not they are valid] in your freaky Gothic attire.

And in case your into huntin' hipsters, check this out:

Just a note to the Goths of the world: this is all in good humor, please do not take anything I write personally.


  1. omgosh actuallyyyy theeee funnnestttttt heheheheeeehhehe

  2. Adam Mench4/03/2011

    I was never really into the goth thing, cuz I have some serious style lol. I was all about those Abercrombie polos.

  3. Anonymous4/04/2011

    Eww goth kids always scared me. I had a couple friends from elementary school make the transition to goth in middle school and I lost touch with them primarily for that reason. They were always getting in trouble or piercing something.

  4. Anonymous4/15/2011

    haha yeah Baby Bats in middle school are always funny XD Sad I noticed most kids do chagne after Middle school. I rember back them most my friends changed but I stayed >_< I dont do the make up tho. Those are normaly the Baby Bats or the 80s style goths. The real goths are easly pointed out :) and the Gothic community is strong in places. Oh yeah! Tripp pants are epic >:D Ive never triped over them and never have hassel in the morning.

  5. The funny thing is that I didn't really discover the Goth subculture until high school. I'm 23, a college student and more into the Goth lifestyle than I was back then.

    Probably because I have a real understanding of it is now. Kids in school put it on for shock value and for attention, because they don't know how else to get it. When they find other ways, they abandon it. They were never really Goths in the first place, just pretending.

    I genuinely enjoy Goth Rock. It has a nice sound. I still love the flamboyance of dressing up like it's Halloween everyday. I don't hate the world or write shitty depressing poetry either.

    Goth is one big, dark, macabre joke. And we know it. That's the fun part.

  6. Anonymous9/13/2013

    I'm am into the goth subculture, but I discovered it when I was a freshman in high school. Most goths I know are very intellectual, excellent writers, and well-read individuals, since we value (gothic/romantic/horror) literature; however, we can laugh at ourselves too. I think my enjoyment of fluffy, stuffed animal bats is laughable.

    I do dress in all black and wear combat boots, but I do it because I want to. I don't know how well-known this is, but many goths value creating or altering their own clothes. Well-made, store-bought, goth clothes can be quite expensive, so making your own is usually a better idea. Personally, I can't sew, but I do enjoy making jewelry.

    Lastly, goth music is much more varied and diverse than many people expect, but throughout all the goth subgenres 70s and 80s post-punk influences can be found. There is some elitism in the goth community, eldergoths generally look down on babybats, but everyone has to start somewhere.

    Do your research. Look at the history of the subculture. Listen to some goth music, and you will eventually find something you like because there are so many different kinds. Appreciate beauty in the dark, spooky, and unusual. Read some literature. Learn at least a little about Victorian fashion.

    Stay spooky, my friends!

    1. I liked how you made that clear. I am young myself, but I don't do it for attention. To me, the whole culture, the clothes, the music, it's all for me and I find it beautiful. People will disagree with this because if those kids who want the attention but the clothes that I find and look for are so cute to me, personally.

    2. I liked how you made that clear. I am young myself, but I don't do it for attention. To me, the whole culture, the clothes, the music, it's all for me and I find it beautiful. People will disagree with this because if those kids who want the attention but the clothes that I find and look for are so cute to me, personally.

  7. Anonymous9/21/2015

    I am Gothic and I love everything about it.I believe in some way it is a form of expression.It is who I am.It is not all about piercing something though I do have a lot of those, it is about self-expression.

  8. Its not a fad a fad denotes that it will die out like all fads do this subculture has gone from strength to strength I am alternative and have been for over 20 years its gives people there own voice which otherwise they are afraid to use I agree that some not all but some people use it for shock value but this can be said about any subcultures in the world today even those of the past

  9. Your links need updating.